Luka's Misadventures

Luka: My name is Luka y'all Im straight outta Iliasville
Been on the force of good since baptism. Old school.
I'm bringin you a laid back summertime jam

Amira: Hold on a minute Luka

Luka: Hey what's up Amira?

Amira: I see that you're embarking on another epic quest
You're gonna use your Angel Halo to rescue the world
But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss
It's dangerous to go alone take this

Luka: Oh thanks Amira that is really very nice
I can always count on you for help and friendly advice
Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size




Luka: ...Oh God that's not a sword it's your pussy in disguise




Amira: Yes I can't lie I have painted my shween
Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean
Wait a minute Luka don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going
This is a great chance to fondle old scrotum that you're blowing

Luka: ...That was weird but whatever there is no time to lose
I've gotta to fly to Ilias in this chilled out groove
Wait this isn't Monster Lords Castle, I'm in a Haunted Mansion
This place looks just like Detroit but even more shitty

Luka: I'm at the corner of Zombies and Ghost junction
Something in my pants must have gone and malfunctioned
I gotta fix it quickly, there is justice to do

Amira: Hold on a minute Luka

Luka: Amira, is that you?

Amira: This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits
It's dangerous to go alone. Take this!

Luka: Well that's really kind of...that's your wrinkled pussy again
Look I know I wear a cape, but I'm not into ...that

Amira: Don't be that way my darling, let me introduce you
To my three best friends: Mr. Johnson and the juice crew
If you see the Monster Lord, well you know you're gonna grab her
So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber?

Luka: OH MY GOD!

Luka: I've got to warp out of here, Ilias awaits
I must defeat Monster Lord before it gets too late
Ok...now I REALLY don't know where I am

Amira: Hold on a minute Luka!

Luka: GodDAMMIT Amira!

Amira: You're in Biolab, it's a zombie abyss
It's dangerous to go alone take....

Luka: Uuuuu... Uuuuu! *Screen flashes*